Ahh life is so crazy! Time is so fickle. Every time I sit down to write I am just blown away by where the wind has taken me. And the beauty of this moment is I truly have NO idea where I am going to end up next.
In short – stomach problems have been plaguing me, I didn’t love Boston or the research I was doing at Tufts, and the combination thereof has caused me to end up back home in Colorado, taking a year off of grad school and going to doctors to try to get healthy. Let’s not forget Cass’s wedding two weeks ago (see last blog post for the toast I gave at the wedding), or Renee’s coming up in 5 months. So many exciting things going on!
Back to this lovely moment. I’ve spent the last week moving in and making space for myself in what was/is the guest room at my parent’s house. Moving back in with the rents seems weird in some ways, but also so normal and so good. I am truly thankful to have parents kind enough to let me move back in with them, and who are so cool that I am excited to get to spend so much time with them!
I think the strangest thing about this phase for me is that I am no longer a student. I have had this “occupation”, this definition of me and my current purpose for the last 18 years. For 18 years whenever someone asked me what I did my response was simply “I am a student.” For 5 of those years, the follow up conversation has included my passion and delight in chemistry. As of two years ago the conversation continued smoothly on to discuss my plans to attend graduate school and pursue my doctoral degree in hopes of going on to do research or “maybe eventually end up teaching.”
And I did, I went to Tufts and put in my first year as a graduate student. And I do still love chemistry, and I do still think I might end up teaching some day. It was fun to experience something new and live on the east coast. But something wasn’t right. I was not happy, and my body was showing evidence of the stress, getting worse every day.
So now I have aborted that plan, and am in search of a new one. And for the interim, I am NOT a student. I’m hoping to work as a barista, maybe a chemistry tutor, and most hopefully a Zumba instructor. I can’t actually wrap my mind around the fact that at the end of August I will not be getting a class schedule, I will not be meeting new friends in class, I will not be buying fresh notebooks to fill with complicated chemical ramblings, and I will not be following the routine of school that I have come to know so well.
But let’s not be too dramatic, I may be back in school come next fall. There is a perfectly good chance I will enroll in a different graduate program and be getting started in a year. Yet there is just as good of a chance I may never go back to school again. Should I discover something else I am more passionate about, if an opportunity comes by that is just too good to pass up – I’m takin it! And that will be the end of that. I told you life was crazy, and time fickle.
For now – here’s to exploring what life OUTSIDE of school is like. What it means to no longer be a student. (So far it means no classes, no homework, and no tests – woot to that!!)
Carpe diem, right? Let’s do this.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Maid of Honor Toast
My goodness has it been a long time since I've written! So much has happened - but more on that in my next post. For now, I am posting a copy of the toast I gave (or at least my notes that I improvised off of) at my older sister Cassandra's wedding on July 24th. Huge congratulations to her and Nick, I could not be happier for them! The day was perfect - check out Scot's blog for some AMAZING pictures:
http://giveandtakepictures.com/blog/cassie-nick-essex-ma-july-24-2011/
And now for the toast:
"Hi, for those of you that don’t know me, I’m Nicole, Cass’s younger sister. Cass and I usually get mixed up because we look so much alike, but oddly that hasn’t happened yet today – I think the big white dress helps.
Nick, Cass – congratulations, first and foremost! Thanks so much for making this day what it is, and for getting married - so we could all come to a fun party!
Nick – though you are our resident weather pattern expert, I figured you could use some advice about the storms and sunny days that will be coming your way now that you have married Cassandra. Here are a few patterns to be on the lookout for.
1. Persistence.
She has always been persistent. When we were little we REALLY wanted a bunny – and I mean really. But mom and dad just were not feelin it. So we decided at the ages of 6 and 8 - to write our parents a letter. It was very professional, lawyer-like, and very persuasive. Lines such as “If given a bunny we solemnly promise to take utmost care of said bunny and clean its cage every single day, etc…” If parents were ever to give their kids a bunny, it would be because of this letter. Unfortunately our mom was adamantly against this, so we had to settle with our little plastic bunnies – and proceeded to “feed” them vegetables, and grass and the like. We continued begging and pleading for about 8 years until we finally got a bunny in the house, because our cousins moved in and had one. Turns out they are cute, but also very smelly. Mom may have had a point.
Anyways, her trend of not giving up on something she wants continued up until she met you. Over the first summer you guys knew each other she began to fall for you, but you were SO sure you didn’t want to try long distance and despite her batting her eyelashes you still weren’t having it. But the whole first year you were in Seattle she just could NOT give up and get over you. Trust me, I tried my best, as her sister, to tell her the hard truth – Nick just doesn’t want to date you Cass, you need to get over him and move on. Most of her good friends were saying similar things, even a lab mate convinced her to join an online dating site in hopes of finding a new love interest for her. But nothing worked, and just like the bunny when she was 8 years old, she just was not willing to give up hope. And thank goodness she didn’t, right? Though most of the time I’m upset when she doesn’t listen to my infinite wisdom, this time – I gotta say, I’m very very glad she didn’t.
We were all very glad to hear Nick came around and realized what he was missing out on – but he still needed the full approval of the family. So naturally, he had to come to Freyschlag Family New Years. And the instant I saw him shamelessly getting his groove on to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” – I knew he would fit in just fine.
2. Scientist through and through.
It’s been great to see the way that Nick “gets” Cass. He understands the realm of “Cassie time” –where as one of the bridesmaids said “there is enough time for EVERYTHING to happen!”.
He also deeply understands the nerdy scientist in her – because he is one himself. I must say, the conversations I hear are really one-of-a-kind. And after talking to Nick Cass always has some fun new updates on the most recent weather activity across the country.
Ironically I again saw patterns of this when we were younger. I remember walking into the living room and catching Cass watching the weather channel. At ten years old?! Really? We would be flipping through channels, Renee and I looking for I Love Lucy or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and we go by the Weather Channel and Cass says “Wait! Stop! I want to watch this for a minute!” What? The Weather Channel? Booooringggg…Well I should have known that someday she would end up with an atmospheric scientist.
I hope you two can spend many romantic beautiful hours sitting in front of the TV watching the Weather Channel.
3. Loving, caring listener and such a great friend.
She will love you and listen to you no matter how rough her day was – she always has time and kindness to spare. Whether it’s over a cup of coffee in the morning, a mug of chocolate ice cream at night, or an ice-cold beer any time of day– she knows the proper therapy needed, and always has the right words to say.
Cass has truly been such a great sister and friend over the years, I could not be more thankful for such a great role model – someone to always look up to and admire the way she does life.
You’ve led the way in so many areas of life – from first learning to walk, read, and ski; our coincidental pursuit of a chemistry degree, and now in finding a handsome, funny, loving Godly man to marry.
When we were little we always dreamed of marrying brothers and living next door to each other – right down the street from our parents, of course. Well she messed that one up by marrying someone whose brother is already married, but I guess I can settle for still being neighbors someday.
Cass, you are a beautiful woman of God and I am thrilled to both hand you over to Nick, but also to welcome him as the first brother into our sisterhood.
And as Rascal Flatts says best:
I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
This is my wish.
Honestly, I could not be happier with the two people God has brought together today. Nick, I’m so glad it’s you. I know you will love and take care of Cass day in and day out and that’s all I could ask for.
And Nick, from the bottom of my heart, welcome to the family!"
http://giveandtakepictures.com/blog/cassie-nick-essex-ma-july-24-2011/
And now for the toast:
"Hi, for those of you that don’t know me, I’m Nicole, Cass’s younger sister. Cass and I usually get mixed up because we look so much alike, but oddly that hasn’t happened yet today – I think the big white dress helps.
Nick, Cass – congratulations, first and foremost! Thanks so much for making this day what it is, and for getting married - so we could all come to a fun party!
Nick – though you are our resident weather pattern expert, I figured you could use some advice about the storms and sunny days that will be coming your way now that you have married Cassandra. Here are a few patterns to be on the lookout for.
1. Persistence.
She has always been persistent. When we were little we REALLY wanted a bunny – and I mean really. But mom and dad just were not feelin it. So we decided at the ages of 6 and 8 - to write our parents a letter. It was very professional, lawyer-like, and very persuasive. Lines such as “If given a bunny we solemnly promise to take utmost care of said bunny and clean its cage every single day, etc…” If parents were ever to give their kids a bunny, it would be because of this letter. Unfortunately our mom was adamantly against this, so we had to settle with our little plastic bunnies – and proceeded to “feed” them vegetables, and grass and the like. We continued begging and pleading for about 8 years until we finally got a bunny in the house, because our cousins moved in and had one. Turns out they are cute, but also very smelly. Mom may have had a point.
Anyways, her trend of not giving up on something she wants continued up until she met you. Over the first summer you guys knew each other she began to fall for you, but you were SO sure you didn’t want to try long distance and despite her batting her eyelashes you still weren’t having it. But the whole first year you were in Seattle she just could NOT give up and get over you. Trust me, I tried my best, as her sister, to tell her the hard truth – Nick just doesn’t want to date you Cass, you need to get over him and move on. Most of her good friends were saying similar things, even a lab mate convinced her to join an online dating site in hopes of finding a new love interest for her. But nothing worked, and just like the bunny when she was 8 years old, she just was not willing to give up hope. And thank goodness she didn’t, right? Though most of the time I’m upset when she doesn’t listen to my infinite wisdom, this time – I gotta say, I’m very very glad she didn’t.
We were all very glad to hear Nick came around and realized what he was missing out on – but he still needed the full approval of the family. So naturally, he had to come to Freyschlag Family New Years. And the instant I saw him shamelessly getting his groove on to Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” – I knew he would fit in just fine.
2. Scientist through and through.
It’s been great to see the way that Nick “gets” Cass. He understands the realm of “Cassie time” –where as one of the bridesmaids said “there is enough time for EVERYTHING to happen!”.
He also deeply understands the nerdy scientist in her – because he is one himself. I must say, the conversations I hear are really one-of-a-kind. And after talking to Nick Cass always has some fun new updates on the most recent weather activity across the country.
Ironically I again saw patterns of this when we were younger. I remember walking into the living room and catching Cass watching the weather channel. At ten years old?! Really? We would be flipping through channels, Renee and I looking for I Love Lucy or Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and we go by the Weather Channel and Cass says “Wait! Stop! I want to watch this for a minute!” What? The Weather Channel? Booooringggg…Well I should have known that someday she would end up with an atmospheric scientist.
I hope you two can spend many romantic beautiful hours sitting in front of the TV watching the Weather Channel.
3. Loving, caring listener and such a great friend.
She will love you and listen to you no matter how rough her day was – she always has time and kindness to spare. Whether it’s over a cup of coffee in the morning, a mug of chocolate ice cream at night, or an ice-cold beer any time of day– she knows the proper therapy needed, and always has the right words to say.
Cass has truly been such a great sister and friend over the years, I could not be more thankful for such a great role model – someone to always look up to and admire the way she does life.
You’ve led the way in so many areas of life – from first learning to walk, read, and ski; our coincidental pursuit of a chemistry degree, and now in finding a handsome, funny, loving Godly man to marry.
When we were little we always dreamed of marrying brothers and living next door to each other – right down the street from our parents, of course. Well she messed that one up by marrying someone whose brother is already married, but I guess I can settle for still being neighbors someday.
Cass, you are a beautiful woman of God and I am thrilled to both hand you over to Nick, but also to welcome him as the first brother into our sisterhood.
And as Rascal Flatts says best:
I hope you never look back, but you never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
This is my wish.
Honestly, I could not be happier with the two people God has brought together today. Nick, I’m so glad it’s you. I know you will love and take care of Cass day in and day out and that’s all I could ask for.
And Nick, from the bottom of my heart, welcome to the family!"
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